Washington, NJ is a Weird Town

I've had a couple of odd experiences during my brief visits to Washington, NJ in Warren County. The first one involved a trip to a thrift shop, and a forgotten purse. I was a relatively new mom at the time, and probably not getting as much sleep as I could have been. I drive the 20 minutes with my little guy, get all the way to the "Y B Normal" secondhand store, park my car and prepare to remove my son from the car seat. Suddenly, I realize I don't know where my purse is.

Quickly I run to the trunk, hoping to see a strap of brown leather popping out from the rubble. Alas, there is none – silly mom has left her money pouch at home. I dig distractedly into my back pocket, hoping to find my credit card there, when I hear a woman's voice from behind me.

"Are you okay?" She's parking her large truck, looking at me with concern.

"Huh?" (thinking I'd better get back into the car with my son – you never know about weird people approaching suddenly). "Oh! Yeah, I just realized I left my purse at home!"

"Do you need money for meds?" she shouts over the street noises.

I gawk in surprise. "What?? No! No, I don't need money for meds! But uh... thanks!" Quickly I get back into my car and lock the door.

Money for... meds? Who would ask such a question? What kind of town is this?

My next bizarre encounter in Washington, NJ takes place at the pizza place where 57 meets Broadway. And also in the homemade donut shop, I should clarify. Initially, I was in the donut shop, about to pay for six donuts of various flavors, when I whip out my trusty credit card only to discover that the donut shop does not accept credit cards.

(An aside: what kind of business in this day and age doesn't accept credit cards!?)

I also ask, while I'm there, if I can use the lavatory... but alas, they do not have one that's open to the public.

So after leaving my box of six donuts in the temporary care of the young, lanky man working the cash register, I run around Washington for a bit trying to find the nearest ATM or bank. I drive to PNC Bank, get my money out for my crummy donuts, get back in the car, and realize that my need to use the facilities is getting unbearable. I ascertain that the most likely place that would have a public bathroom is the pizza place on 57 and Broadway.

I go in there, and ask if they have a restroom. The blond girl behind the counter tells me they do, but it's in the basement. Since I do not have my child with me at this time, I figure it's safe to venture down there, because boy do I ever have to go. So she kindly escorts me down a seemingly neverending staircase, into this creepy cellar, where I then have to make several turns around various piles of old crap and stuff, before arriving at the dingy and smelly bathroom.

(The girl also hands me some paper towels to wipe with, since they evidently have no toilet paper).

I do my business as quickly as humanly possible, then brave the frightening trip back up the creepy, desolate stairs. Once I'm back in the restaurant, I say to the girl who helped me, "Wow... I can't believe it's so hard to find a public bathroom around here!"

She says, "Yeah... the only other one is in the Krauser's, and I wouldn't recommend that one because that's where all the drug addicts go to shoot up."

Me: "WHAT? Are you kidding me!?"

Her: "You from around here?"

Me: NO!! (even though I sort of am, at this point. And also, why does everybody in Warren County always ask me that!?).

I thank her for escorting me to the potty and for the paper towel, then make a hasty exit.

Yes... Washington, NJ is a very odd town, indeed.

The Red Wolf Inn – Belvidere, NJ

The first time I set foot in the Red Wolf Inn was around 1997, on a river trip with my friend who lived down the road from there. We had been paddling along the Delaware while floating in black inner tubes and drinking beer, for approximately 5 to 6 hours. We were exhausted, starving, and dare I say drunk.

Of course, on our way in from the parking lot we had to stop to visit the wolves, who lived in a pen behind the building and, quite honestly, seemed rather unimpressed with us. (The Red Wolf Inn just wouldn't be the same without real life wolves, now would it?)  Inside, the place was dimly lit and decorated with a clutter of rustic and antique paraphernalia. There was a big fireplace which was not lit because it was summer, but nevertheless added to the general ambiance. I recall that the service seemed a bit disorganized, with some confusion over where our group would be sitting.

We got our drinks (they had, and still have, a nice selection of beers on tap), ordered steaks because that's what was recommended... and then we sat and waited for our food. We got more drinks. We waited. We waited. And we waited some more.

After what seemed like forever and a day, our steaks arrived. We instantly forgot about how annoyed we were about having to wait so long, because... oh, what steaks they were! NY strip, your choice of "alpha," "beta" or "cub" cut (there's that Wolf pack theme again), cooked to perfection, with a side of seasoned steak fries or dirty mashed potatoes. I chose the fries, and was not disappointed. Digging into that thick slab of juicy meat, pouring on the homemade brown goodness they call steak sauce, that came in two varieties – regular and spicy. And those crisp-on-the-outside, tender on the inside fries with their magical seasoning... ahh, what a meal. What a decadent, decadent meal, fit for a king or queen.

I have enjoyed dinners at the Red Wolf many times since then, and I've showed up there after-hours, to drink a few beers and carouse with what is a largely local clientele. The service continues to be somewhat slow, the beer selection continues to be good, and the steaks continue to be the best ones I've ever eaten. So, I patronize the Red Wolf Inn, and I bring my friends there, and everyone is happy. The only thing that's really changed is that the prices seem to have gone up (booo.).

As far as the rest of the menu... ehhh. Order the steak.

(The Red Wolf Inn is located on Rt. 519 in Belvidere, NJ. Call 908 475 4772 to make a reservation today!)

Kayaking and Canoeing at the Delaware Water Gap

There's a perfect spot to kayak or canoe in the glorious wilderness of Warren County, NJ... the glacial lake at Mohican Outdoor Center in Blairstown, NJ. The Mohican Outdoor Center is hiking, camping and paddling at their finest. Their site is located along the Appalachian Trail and offers more rugged terrain and picturesque views as compared to, say, Merrill Creek or Round Valley Reservoir.

To get there, take 80 to 94 into Blairstown. At the Blairstown fire house, you'll see a sign for the Mohican Family Center – turn there. I believe there's a bunch more turns after that, and then you go up this rocky hill into the woods. As you travel the wooded trail (by car), you'll eventually come upon the Mohican Lodge on your left. You can stop in, use the facilities, and pay a few dollars to rent a kayak or canoe to use on the lake. Parking is just past there, on the left.

Once on foot, continue down the wooded path and pass a stone barbecue type of structure. Shortly after this, you'll see another wooden building – the boathouse. Amble down the rocks and tree roots, and you're there.

In the boathouse, canoe and kayak paddles and life jackets are located down below. And inside, there's a huge stone fireplace and big windows overlooking the lake. I believe they hold yoga classes in there which must certainly be a treat for those seeking divine inspiration from nature.

Continue on, with your paddles, down to the lake shore where the boats and kayaks are. Not a lot of people typically show up here, so you're almost guaranteed your pick. The mountain lake water is cold and crisp, and the air always feels fresh and rejuvenating.

Jump in, and have a friend help push you off to get things going. Ah, what a fabulous way to spend a sunny summer day! Just be sure to avoid the rocks across the shore... that's where the rattlesnakes live.

For more information on this fine outdoor spot, visit http://www.outdoors.org/lodging/mohican/

Rave: Greenwich Shoprite

Never have I looked forward to going grocery shopping as much as I do now that I live near the Greenwich Shoprite of Warren County, NJ. Located next to the Home Depot on Rt. 22, this supermarket has everything anyone could ever want. Below, just a few reasons why they're the bomb:

All you need in one place. They have a great appy department, deli counter, bakery section, fish and seafood department, organic fruits and vegetables, health food section... and of course, the obligatory spots that every grocery store contains – your produce, your canned and boxed goods, cleaning supplies, pet food, baby aisle, etc.

Big selection. I take for granted the many choices I'm offered at Greenwich Shoprite until I step into another grocery store and am sorely disappointed at the lack of selection.

Special cooking class area. Did you know that you can get cooking lessons at Shoprite? Well, you can. There's a spot right near the produce and the florist/plants area where they've set up a counter with seats. People can learn how to make specific recipes... and they even host kids' parties there. What's not to love?

Scrunchy's Playhouse. Ah, the joy of being able to shop in peace and quiet while the kids play safely in an area of their own. And if you don't feel comfortable about dropping the kids off... they do have those shopping carts with a kiddie vehicle attached. What mom wouldn't want to roll through the dairy aisle with their kid making screaming fire engine noises?

The layout is ideal. This one is hard to explain. But, whether you start shopping from the far-right end of the store or the far-left, either way has you running through, hitting every spot in an especially efficient fashion. Of course, nobody is perfect—they recently moved the eggs to a poor location which now causes bottlenecking at the spot where you pass the soup and sushi and move into the dairy aisle... but, with so many other things going right, I can't really be too upset about this.

Great plant selection. Take that, Home Depot! I don't need to make 2 pit stops on Mother's Day, Easter or Thanksgiving... Shoprite has everything I need for the holidays, including plants and flowers for Mom. You can even get potted vegetable plants in the summertime... who can beat that?

Shoprite Shop From Home. If it weren't enough to be able to cruise the aisle of Shoprite, tossing awesome items into my cart with wild abandon... I can now make my selections online, have their personal shoppers take care of the picking, packing and swiping of the card... then, deliver it right to the trunk of my car. For $10, you can't beat saving an hour, especially during the summer months when everyone would rather be outside enjoying the warm weather.

The only negative that I can really come up with on Shoprite is that parking can be a pain in the backside. But, is that really their fault? I would have to say no. Thank you, Greenwich Shoprite, for making grocery shopping such a delight!

The Camera at Rt. 22 Intersection

I want to say like a year ago, I began noticing funny flashing lights going off as I was sitting at a red light on Rt. 22. I soon determined that my photo was being taken. As it turns out, they installed a camera at the intersection where Rt. 22 meets Rt. 519 (St. James Ave.). And it really sucks.

Of course, my husband, who is always late for work, has gotten several tickets for going through that light as it's turning red. Now, I am certainly not advocating this practice. I myself do not run red lights, I believe this is a moving violation (!?). My husband has never run a red light while driving us around. However, he has done this apparently on more than 2 occasions on the way to his job, and frankly it's getting rather expensive.

I myself also was issued a ticket at that light, as a direct result of the photo-snapping camera catching me in an illegal act. Apparently, I did not come to a full stop before going right in the turning lane while the light was red. I was mailed a photo of my car, along with a link that allowed me to view myself being recorded during the aforementioned offense.

I had read somewhere that they were questioning whether this practice, of recording/taking photos of people while driving, was actually legal – maybe because the law hadn't been approved yet at the point that people in Warren County began receiving tickets as a direct result. However, I believe they have now passed the law through – so the light stays, the tickets continue to be issued, and if anyone wants to complain about having gotten a ticket prior to the law going into effect, they can jump on the class action lawsuit bandwagon, and receive a whopping $8 for their pain.

Anyway, regardless of how you drive or whether you got a ticket – Big Brother sucks.

Cops in Warren County NJ are Pretty Awesome

One thing I noticed after moving to Warren County, NJ is that cops aren't power-hungry a-holes like they tend to be in other areas of this state. I remember when I was a teenager in Monmouth County and first started driving. I used to have to be extra cautious going down this one road where the speed limit was only 25 even though it seemed like it should be 40. The police would sneak out of their little hiding spot and nail you, even if you were only going like 35. They were real jerks about it, too.

I tend to be a little heavy with the gas pedal (nothing too crazy – I'm not a reckless driver or anything like that!). Many a speeding ticket was issued in my name at the time I was living and driving in Bergen County, NJ. They are more aggressive about meeting quotas up there, I guess.

Well... I really don't want to jinx it, but the police around here have been totally cool. They actually have little warning slips they give you, along with a stern reprimanding, in lieu of an actual speeding ticket. Now don't get me wrong. I found a way to contribute a little money to the local towns around here: dog licensing! We're always late getting ours renewed, and I manage to pay a fee every year.  But still, the point of this post was to rave about the awesome law enforcement officials of Warren County, NJ. So thanks, guys, for being so cool, and for fighting crime on our behalf!

The West Portal Pumpkin Patch

The West Portal Pumpkin Patch, located just off Rt. 173 in Asbury NJ, is a must-visit for Halloween fun in Warren County. Open in October during prime pumpkin-picking season, they really do a nice job of making autumn time a treat for kids of all ages.

With leisurely hay rides down to the pumpkin patch to search for the perfect pumpkin; a general store that's fall-festooned and chock full of Halloween-themed goods; potted mums and an array of multi-colored gourds for purchase, it's the perfect field trip for a crisp autumn day.

The West Portal Pumpkin Patch is part of family-owned Modica Farms - 85 acres with a stream running through it, and a good sized pond on the premises. In addition to the hay rides and pumpkin picking, there's a variety of Halloween-themed activities for people of all ages:  a hay maze and a corn maze for big kids to get lost in, an indoor mini corn maze for the little kids to explore; and the animal barns, where guests can visit with ducks, pigs chickens, goats, cows and sheep.

While you're there, check out the tractor-pulled, mini train ride for kids-- adorably painted white with black patches like a Heifer cow. Bring the kids for some "sandbox" play with trucks and digging equipment, only the "sand" is—what else—corn kernels! Finally: have a quick bite or a drink at the snack stand.

Modica Farms welcomes organized field trips to the West Portal Pumpkin Patch in October of each year. Visit this page of their website for more information, or call 908 479 1487.

Common Sense for Animals – Warren County NJ No-Kill Animal Shelter

Common Sense for Animals is a no-kill animal shelter owned by Dr. Robert Blease, a veterinarian who has his practice next-door to the CSA facility. They are located on Rt. 57 in Broadway, NJ.

I first discovered their shelter in 2008, and immediately fell in love with all the doggies, young and old, large and small, waiting patiently for someone to take them to their new, "forever" home. I adopted three dogs there and was very pleased with the price, the care and medical attention the dogs were given, and the kind of dogs they turned out to be. Back then, Common Sense for Animals was making trips to the southern states, taking dogs from shelters in West Virginia, South Carolina and Georgia, where shelters had hit maximum capacity due to all the pets that had been rescued after Hurricane Katrina. I am sure they still make these trips to save animals from shelters that euthanize.

At that time, they had just the one vet office as their main building, and a secondary, outbuilding where the dogs who were up for adoption were housed. In 2013, it appears have expanded significantly. Walk up the front driveway, and you will be greeted by several talkative chickens, and a couple of dog statues that guard the doors of their new, expanded adoption center. We visited there recently, and it seems that CSA is doing better than ever.

In the main lobby you'll find a colorful iguana who has his own bachelor pad next to the front door, where he can climb up a fake tree, munch on lettuce and iguana food, and just chill out. They have several friendly rabbits and other caged rodents; a fish tank, a couple of birds, and I guess whatever else random animal that might come through the door. The shelter is mostly quiet (meaning, as quiet as it can be with hordes of cats and dogs living there), with a few volunteers coming in and out, cleaning and spending time with the animals, which is nice to see. The girl who works the front desk is always friendly and helpful.

Where they once only took in a small number of dogs and cats, CSA's expanded facility now offers a much larger area for adoptable pets to reside. They have both caged cats (probably for health and/or safety reasons, some cats must be caged), as well as ones that roam about in special cat-rooms that you can enter via glass doors, to spend some time with the friendliest of their felines. In these rooms, the cats are able to move about freely, perch in carpeted "cat-trees," exercise their claws on scratching posts, play with cat-toys, eat, poop, and generally live the best cat existence possible considering the circumstances. If you're considering getting a cat, why not check out the large selection of lovable kitties at CSA?

Next to the main desk, they've strategically located a few fenced-in pens for older puppies who are obviously up for adoption and safe to play with (meaning, no illness or other potential issues). Walk over there, and you are more than likely to receive a hearty hello from a group of wiggling, panting, pawing, stomping, eager little tail-waggers who just can't wait for someone to take them home. Or at the very least, let them out for a romp and a snuggle!

Walk past these guys, and you'll see the washing machines, to the left of which there are several rows of puppy cages, for the guys who either cannot be housed in groups, or who maybe are too young, or perhaps just came in and are on a trial period. (I am not sure of the specific reasons why one animal or another must be caged – you have to ask the shelter workers for specifics). And to the right and behind them, of course they have the original outbuilding full of doggie stalls, where the adult dogs who are ready for adoption, live. Open that door, and you may be startled by the sudden, loud barking of all the big dogs at once. But, you get used to it fast, and soon realize that all these poor fellas want is a walk outside and a nice place to call "forever home" with a family who loves and takes good care of them.

Common Sense for animals offers an attractive pricing package that includes adoption fee, first vaccines, neuter or spay, and microchipping, for one flat fee. They encourage volunteers to help take care of the many animals that come through their doors, and they hold several fundraising events throughout the year.

To learn more, visit their website at http://commonsenseforanimals.org, or give them a call at 908 859 3060.

Best Towns in Warren County to Rent or Buy a Home

I have not explored every town in Warren County, NJ, so there may be some more not listed here that would appeal to house hunters. However, if you want to make a new start in a new place, there are definitely some areas here which would be more welcoming to new people than others. In these towns, you're more likely to find a higher percentage of people who settled here after living elsewhere.

Why does this matter? Well, it just does. In the smallest, tightest knit communities of Warren County, NJ, you get a certain self preoccupation, or egocentricity, from the residents. "Our town, our roads, our grocery store, our mayor, our kids..." It's not that they think new people are "bad" per se. Rather, it's like they are a large family in their own right, and display certain territorial behaviors.

(Note: I DO think that Warren County people are extra nice. I am NOT saying they're unkind. I AM kind of saying that the locals stick together.)

Remember when the world was smaller, when people traveled less, extended families stayed in one area rather than moving out state or even out of the country? And of course there was no internet or cell phone communication which inevitably broadens one's understanding of different customs, cultures and ways of life. Well... living in a small, remote town is, in a way, like the world the way it used to be. Local people talking about local things, having little awareness of what goes on outside of that protective little bubble – their microcosm of the bigger world.

It's still a little bit like that in Warren County, NJ. And if you aren't from here but want to move here, then it makes sense to pick an area where people would be more welcoming of an outsider. So let me give you the best towns for that:

Pohatcong

Lopatcong

Greenwich/Stewartsville

Blairstown

As far as I know, the towns of Warren County where *most* people were born there and are continuing the family tradition of staying local include...

Belvidere

Oxford

Washington (?)

Harmony

White Township

(There may be more - I am not sure.)

As far as other towns not mentioned here, I have not done enough exploration to make any sort of assessment. Before you become a resident of Warren County, find out more about what small town life is like. You will either love it, or it will make you feel excluded. Or maybe, a little of both.

Mackey's Farm – Belvidere, NJ

Mackey's Farm and Orchard, in Belvidere, NJ, is definitely my favorite Warren County stop-in for fresh produce, a homemade treat, and some good old farmer-style fun. As soon as the weather warms up in April, I find myself driving by there, gazing longingly at the big "Mackey's" sign with big black apple, wishing it were summer already.

Family-owned Mackey's offers an array of exciting sights, sounds, aromas, and of course, various farm-themed items and foods for purchase. Walk down the stone steps, and you'll hear the pleasant trickling of a miniature waterfall decorated with colorful flowers and plants. Next to this, they have a smattering of little tables for visitors to sit and take a little break while enjoying a farm-made treat.

In summertime, folks line up at the ice cream barn for delicious, homemade frozen goodies: fresh strawberry or blackberry sundaes, peach or pumpkin ice cream that's made on the premise... the featured selections depend on whatever orchard fruits are in season. Open the barn door, and you'll find bins and barrels of fresh corn, peaches, tomatoes, peppers, berries and plenty of other types of produce. They also have jams, jellies and other canned food-goods, farm-fresh eggs and some other sundry items. There is also a playground in the back for kids to enjoy, and they host children's parties by appointment.

In autumn, Mackey's is the perfect place to stop in after a drive through the country to enjoy the colorful fall foliage. You can pick your own apples, grab a bag of homemade cider donuts (sooo good!!), and pick through all shapes, sizes and colors of pumpkins and gourds. In addition, you'll find all the typical fall embellishments such as hay bales, corn stalks and dried Indian corn. And let's not forget their amazing, homemade pies and other baked goodies.

At Mackey's farm, you can always count on owner Holly Mackey and the other girls who work there, for a warm smile, friendly greeting and excellent service. All in all, Mackey's is a great place to stop over the course of your Warren County, NJ meanderings. They're on Rt. 519 in Belvidere, across from the Brookfield development.

Support your local farmers! Buy locally grown produce at Mackey's Farm and Orchard.

The Cornfields of Warren County, NJ

One especially cool thing about Warren County, NJ: cornfields. I myself have fond memories of cornfields, from my childhood spent in Monmouth County, NJ. Back in those days and in that part of the state, a lot of the roads and neighborhoods we know of today were simply not there. Instead it was just rows and rows of endless, glorious cornfields, waving majestically in the sun. Now those cornfields are long gone. The kids of today don't remember the farms that once thrived in Monmouth County, circa 1979. But I will.

Luckily, here in Warren County, you get to time-travel backwards, to a place where cornfields still exist in this state (because around here, they still do!). It's surely a nice thing, to be driving along a country road, with corn to the left and corn to the right... or to step out your back door and be surrounded by nothing but corn, sweet corn!

Yes... Warren County loves corn. We have a lot of it. You can get some delicious white or golden ears of corn at Shoprite, or at your favorite farmstand. We can thank the laws that have preserved the farms in this part of NJ – the NJ Skylands, as they call it. It might mean less commerce, less jobs, and less money, but who cares? We have CORN. :)

Hey, Craigslist! Why is There No Warren County, NJ Area of Your Site?

Warren County... not really "North Jersey" as most people think of it. Not really "central" Jersey which brings New Brunswick, Edison and Rutgers to mind. If one wishes to buy or sell items, post jobs, search for work, advertise a lost pet, list a personal ad, or what-have-you, and one happens to live in Warren County, NJ... where, pray tell, would one do that on Craigslist?

I find myself immersed in this dilemma every time I use Craigslist.org. I have tried contacting support to make a request for a special, Warren County section of classifieds, but never did hear back from anyone on this.

So, how about it, Craig? Warren County is finally caught up, tech wise, to the rest of the free world (joke - sort of). Can we please have our own little spot on your map of the web?

Thank you kindly.

Why Does it Cost Less to Live in Warren County, NJ?

As the more crowded parts of NJ become even more densely populated, and as people find it harder to meet expenses in a struggling economy, more folks are heading west to Warren County, NJ, looking for a good spot to buy a home and raise a family.

Why does it cost less to live in Warren County? According to data on Wikipedia.com, this is one of the less affluent areas of NJ, with a median household income of $56,100 in the year 2000, as compared to a median income of $79,888 for a household in neighboring HunterdonCounty which is incidentally the 13^th highest in the U.S. based on per capita income. Our population of folks living beneath the poverty line is approximately 5%, compared to a little over 1% in Hunterdon. Warren County ranks as number 12 out of 21, in the order of per capita income from highest to lowest by NJ county.

One possible reason for lower rent and lower priced homes in Warren County is the lack of corporate jobs. People are less inclined to move here because a large portion of this county is rural. This of course translates to less commerce – no place to work. While more NJ residents are willing to commute as long as 2 hours to enjoy careers that offer more competitive salaries, the increase in gas prices also works against them.

The other reason for lower prices is that there simply isn't enough industry to attract consumers to this area. Warren County has one mall – the Phillipsburg Mall. The building in which our humble little shopping mecca is housed is rumored to have changed hands, and will soon shut down and become something else. Downtown Phillipsburg has a few little shops but is largely a depressed area, while it does appear that Hackettstown does offer a bit of downtown culture and shopping, with its cute shops and bustling commercial activity.

One thing that saves Warren County is the shift from physical to telecommute jobs all over the country. If, say, you work in pharmaceutical sales, you can purchase a veritable mansion for your family to live in picturesque Greenwich, NJ, at a fraction of the money you'd pay for the same house in Bergen County. And, you'd be saving money on the daily commute to work that you aren't making. The people who earn the most money in this area do appear to be working from home or own their own businesses... but this still doesn't change the fact that we are simply low on industry and a good two hours from major cities such as NYC and Philly.

People in Warren County Are Nicer

When I first moved to Warren County, NJ, I was shocked to see people who evidently knew each other, parking their carts to say hello and chat in the supermarket. That was at the A&P in Belvidere. It seemed that everyone was so friendly, and that people around town were genuinely interested to know my story, who I knew from the area, and so forth.

This was my first taste of small town life. At the time, I had yet to learn that small town life also involves a bit of gossiping every now and then, and that in a close-knit community, everybody seems to know everything about everyone. There are good and bad things about that. I did not end up settling in Belvidere, but found my own little niche in another part of Warren County.

My first impression, of uncommon friendliness, remains. People really ARE nicer here than in other parts of NJ. Maybe it's a country thing; maybe it's that there aren't very many people from New York around here. New Yorkers, at least the city types, do tend to be a bit more impatient, pushy, and sometimes are downright assholes. I can't say that I've met too many a-holes around here. You can always find a friendly store clerk, a generous neighbor, a good-natured farmstand operator, someone to hold a door at the mall. You'll get a hello at the Dunkin Donuts and a "Have a good day" from the gas station attendant. Well... usually, anyway.

When I return to my old stomping ground in Bergen and Essex County, or when I go shopping in the Somerville area, I do notice the difference. People outside of this area aren't always so friendly. When you live here long enough, you might begin to take it for granted. But I won't. :)

People in Warren County Talk Funny

Come to Warren County from another part of NJ, and you will immediate notice a strange and unfamiliar dialect spoken by the locals. Not everyone talks this way, and I've even met some folks who, curiously enough, sound like they're from New York. But those who have lived here most or all of their lives, speak with a most curious local drawl.

What type of accent IS it? Well... I'm not quite sure exactly. A little bit Philly, a little bit NEPA, maybe some Kentucky thrown in there just so outsiders will know that around here, we're just a li'l bit country. Generally, the Phillipsburg/Warren County manner of speech involves the use of extra vowels in certain words, and the omission of necessary vowels in others.

For example, "What's going on?" would be heard as, "Whut's gyeauwwun ooouuuuhhhn?"

"My brother is coming over," might be spoken as, "Mah brutherrz cummin eauohh-vurr."

There is also an emphasis on the 'L' sound in certain words, that is likely borrowed from our friends in Philadelphia.

"Ah lluhhv llivin' in Lleauohh-pat." (I love living in Lopat.)

"Whut'r yuh doon llayd-uhrr?" "Ah, prolly gawn hyeauoomme." ("What are you doing later?" "Ah, probably going home.")

I've gotten better at imitating it after living here for ten years, and sometimes I even catch myself using a slight twang now and then. But overall, as someone who didn't grow up here, I would feel like a poser talking like this!

The Hot Dogs of Warren County

Around these parts, we have quite the competition for hot dogs going on. Drive down Rt. 31 through Oxford, make a left onto Rt. 46 into the hilariously-named Buttzville, and you'll soon be rewarded with a view of Hot DogJohnny's... with its giant, happy painted hot dog, slathered in yellow mustard paint, beckoning passerbys to come on in and grab some delicious dogs.

Hot Dog Johnny's, located on the lazy Pequest River that meanders alongside the highway, is the perfect spot to stop for lunch, munch tasty tube steaks and fries with the kids, and curiously enough, wash it down with a mug of buttermilk. (Note that although they sell buttermilk, you are not allowed to carry your mug of it to the car, as evidently this poses a safety risk – therefore, you must slurp your buttermilk within the walls of the wacky hot dog octagon, which incidentally, does offer seating for those who do not care about the view of the river and would prefer not to down dogs in their vehicle.)

At Johnny's, the dogs are fried in peanut oil, as seems to be the Warren County way for cooking frankfurters. Their toppings include the obligatory mustard and ketchup, relish, and raw onion. A "hot dog with everything" will arrive wearing a coating of mustard, a sprinkle of onion bits, and feature a slim pickle slice or two, neatly tucked into the bun. When I first moved here, I was unsure of this strange hot-dog topping phenomenon (what? no kraut?), but after a year or two, I grew to appreciate and even crave the unique hot dog customs that are Warren County, NJ.

Another local hot dog hot spot: Toby's Cup, located on Rt. 22 in Lopatcong. Lazy residents who don't feel like getting on the highway can sneak in through the back way, weaving through South 1^st or 2nd street to its tiny parking lot that nearly always has happy hot dog clientele driving in or out, except of course on Tuesdays when they are closed. Like Hot Dog Johnny's, Toby's Cup hot dogs are fried in peanut oil and feature the same mustard-pickle-onion trio. They recently added a few more options to their hot dog repertoire, including sauerkraut and chili.

Or, if you're not a fan of hot dogs, you can opt for the cheeseburger or cheese steak sandwich, neither of which I've ever tasted since I can't seem to get past those dynamite dogs. Chase it with a thick shake (or a non-thick one – they offer those too), grab a Tasty Cake for the road, and you're good to go. (Note: Toby's does not sell french fries – not quite sure why, as they are already evidently deep frying things in there).

Toby's is tiny – a funny little shack on the side of the road, with a straight-out-of-the-1950s creepy carnival clown face and hilarious, retro colored lights perched on the roof, that blink in a peevish, almost questioning way. It really is an odd sight – but the hot dogs are great – especially flavorful, and I must say that I always manage to get the perfect hot-dog-to-bun ratio there. And, sadly enough, even though I've always been a kraut-and-mustard kind of gal, I find myself salivating for the Warren County "dog with everything" pickle, onion and mustard style.

The third, well-known hot dog joint around here is Jimmy's on the Delaware. Unfortunately, I have never eaten there, so I can't very well provide a review.

South Main Street: Phillipsburg's Finest

Here in Warren County, our human trash collects in one, bedraggled downtown area – South Main and surrounding streets, Phillipsburg or P-burg to the locals. If you meet someone who says they are from that area, you can probably ascertain that they live in Section 8 housing, are of limited intellect, and may also be the product of inbreeding. My impression of downtown P-burg is that drug use is pretty much rampant, and there's a pedophile around every corner. No joke about that. If you go on the NJ Megan's Law list, you'll see scores of kid-touchers, all living in downtown Phillipsburg. People who live in the better parts of Warren County don't really care to speak of this, but it's there, lurking in the shadows.

Now, I'm not saying that *all* South Main residents are druggie trash and/or sex offenders. There may be some respectable, hardworking families living down there. I don't really know, because I avoid the area like the plague. I don't know what scope of that region is truly horrific versus simply some honest, blue collar people who are just trying to live a humble life. But I will say this:

There is a reason why houses in that vicinity currently go for the bargain price of $40,000.00. Yes... a future slumlord's dream come true. The last time we drove through there, we were attempting to find a steakhouse or something, in the commercial part of town. My husband cut down a side street, and within seconds our car was swarmed with the lowest form of humanity... zombie-like, slackjaw individuals lurching toward us, tripping over garbage in the streets, making little effort to get out of the way of our moving vehicle... one guy actually TOUCHED our car as we were going by?? My husband's mood turned foul, and we ended up high-tailing it out of town, settling on the Phillipsburg diner where we were seated at a table next to 12 obese individuals. The food was godawful.

Now don't get me wrong. There are some really lovely parts of Warren County. It's just that downtown P-burg, specifically South Main Street, is not one of them, and you deserve to know that.

The Utter Lack of Ethnic Diversity in Warren County

When I moved here in 2003, I was shocked to pull up to the Gulf station on 519 and have my gas pumped by not only a female, but a blonde one. No Indians or Middle Easterners in sight. Since then, it would seem to me that there has been a gradual increase in people of color to this area... I now visit, with fair regularity, a deli, a convenience store, a couple of gas stations and a Dunkin Donuts, who all employ or are owned by Indian individuals.

Now, let me be clear, since political correctness is such an issue these days. I am not saying that I have a problem with non-Caucasians. I'm just saying that, whether you are pro or anti diversity, Warren County, NJ is not quite caught up to the rest of the melting pot. Now, for a person like me, the main issue with that is the lack of ethnic cuisine around here. For Easton, PA's Heritage Day and similar celebrations, people head out to enjoy some Polish kielbasa and kraut, or maybe some sausage and peppers if they want to get really crazy.

We recently had a decent Indian restaurant open up in the town of Lopatcong, much to my delight, which will hopefully do well and stick around for a while. Other than that, we have one overpriced sushi joint, and a smattering of the obligatory Italian and Chinese places. Somewhere close to Rt. 46 there's a Cuban restaurant (which I'm not even sure is still open), but you have to travel to Easton, PA or to Hunterdon County if you want some decent Spanish, Thai, or other type of "exotic" fare.

Warren County, NJ is... "A Little Bit Country"

Things I've begun to appreciate since moving to Warren County...

Tractor pulls

Kayaking

Canoeing

Bonfires

Demolition Derby

Country music (Johnny Cash but sometimes I tune in to Cat Country 96 in the car!)

Creek fishing

Hayrides

Antiquing

4-Wheeling

Cowboy boots (yes, I own a pair)

Bluegrass music

Quoits

Skeet shooting

Hot dogs with mustard, pickles and raw onion (more on this in a later post)

The People of Warren County, NJ

What are people like who live in Warren County, NJ, you ask? Well, let me give you the rundown of the main prototypes:

The Warren County Lifer. In certain Warren County towns, there's a large percentage of "I've Lived Here My Whole Life" types. This is not to say that no new people move here. But it's just that some are born to live and die in the same small town (Springsteen lyrics coming to mind). The Warren County Lifer lives to talk about the Good Ol' Days, is hot on the local gossip, and will look at you funny when he finds out you lived somewhere outside of his sphere of understanding. I have tried to hang with a group of Warren County people who have known each other since nearly birth, with me as an outsider. Although these folks generally mean no harm, it gets old pretty fast.

The Backwoods Hillbilly. There are some people around here who wear cowboy hats and overalls, sport wild, unkempt hairdos and untamed moustaches, and are just plain hicks. I am not saying this is a good or bad thing; it is what it is. If you like farmers who talk about weather patterns, or feel at home with simple, river folk, then you will be in good company here in rural Warren County, NJ. I'm in no way disrespecting these folks. It's just that they don't exist in other parts of NJ!

The Middle to Upper Class, Conservative WASP. Again, I'm just telling it like it is. We have a lot of White Anglo Saxon Protestants around here, living among the farmers. They can be a bit cliquey at times. I am not saying everyone is like this; it depends on the town. The parts of Warren County that I'm familiar with were founded by hardworking English, Dutch and German immigrants. I think there are some Italian and Irish too, but not as many unless they showed up later. A lot of people around here vote Republican. I'm just saying!

The Artsy, Free Spirit. More so in Blairstown, I think, where culture abounds, you can find the arty, open minded type who one day decided to ditch the corporate job, pack it in and head to Warren County for a lower cost of living and the peace, quiet and freedom that country life has to offer. We have our share of potters, painters, antique dealers, bakers, writers and the like, which is never a bad thing unless for some reason you are an art-hater and have no appreciation for free enterprise (?).

P-Burg White Trash. I'm sorry to say, but Warren County has more WT than any other town I've lived in. This county is crawling with pale, pasty, wide-bottomed, non-baby-daddy-having, crock-wearing, cheese-doodle eating, Walmart-shopping, low-rent trailer park dwellers. I mean, this is compared to other places in NJ, whose poor consist of illegal aliens and inner city blacks. We do have African Americans and some Hispanics here, but most of our less fortunate population is P-burg white trash. I think Hackettstown is probably similar but I really haven't been there much to know.

The Transplanted Commuter. These are the people who moved here from other parts of NJ because they figured out it costs less to live here and it's beautiful and an awesome place to live. The reason for the commute is that, as far as I know, there still isn't much in the way of corporate jobs here in Warren County. I suppose you could work for M&M Mars, and I think a lot of people used to work at Ingersoll-Rand but they're gone now. So most probably travel a long way to work at pharma jobs, marketing jobs, and such.

Like anywhere, we have an array of people - if I think of any more I will come back here and add to the list.